Deep Thoughts Only Partially Influenced by Wine

"Where there is impossibility, there is possibility; and where there is possibility, there is impossibility. It is because there is right, that there is wrong; it is because there is wrong, there is right...Thereupon the self is also the other; the other is also the self." --Zhuangzi

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I Question, Therefore I Am!

An odd twist on Decartes perhaps, but I am beginning to appreciate the twist again! Growing up I would sometimes manage to find the right answer to the questions posed by the teacher. Given that I thought math was hard but fascinating, I would be very excited to get a right answer in this realm and be beaming with pride only to hear the teacher exclaim "You did it wrong!" I would slink back to my seat ashamed and sometimes, not yet being the manly stud I am now, start crying. I could not really understand how I got a right answer wrong. I still can't.

I am not sure if my somewhat shy demeanor with respect to many of my ideas was a result but I cannot help but wonder if it has led me to hide away my inquisitive nature. I seemed to have long since really taken the time to be curious about much of anything anymore save the questions 'Why don't I have that?' or 'Why am I the one single?' As such, I feel as if I am leaping into something mindless in an effort to keep up and have everything. For whatever reason, it is seeming obvious to me that no matter what I gain, it will never be enough and I am seemingly getting more unhappy with life despite more and more accumulation.

It seems time to gain something else I seem to have lost so long ago because I 'did it wrong!' It is time to be curious again and as such discover what the longings of my heart and soul truly are.
With this I start 'In Vino Veritas', A Socrate's Cafe of sorts in a blog. I ran across a few books by Christopher Phillips on the idea of 'philosophy for the masses' gathering and thought it would be intriguing to apply it to a blog. A question will be posed in the blog topic. Please comment on the question posed with the following things in mind: Really read what others have to say and respect where the thoughts may be coming from (i.e. disagreement is expected but put-downs and browbeating are trash canned.), try and support your answers with specific examples from your experience, and understand that consensus on ideas is not the point here.... rather an understanding of the possibilities becomes important. It should be noted that from Phillips' experience many of these real world discussions he has facilitated have led to yet more questions.

I will admit that I feel a bit odd about this new blog but look forward to it with cautious and curious excitement with respect to what it may bring.

Question on!

Remember: In Vino Veritas! :)

Note: This will be repeated as the first topic on the new blog.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

He Who Dies With the Most Toys Wins!

Hmmmm... I wonder what it is they win. A cupie doll perhaps?
Win or not, they are still dead and though this is always considered a joke, it always seems as if this is how life is anyhow. I have been quiet for quite some time simply thinking, mostly about this concept of winning and how it applies to me. Realistically, I should be happy, if not ecstatic about my life. I am paid very very well, have the opportunity to enjoy most anything I could ever imagine, and enjoy it with wonderful people, but still I feel less than satisfied with pretty much everything. After watching the crowds in Las Vegas over July 4th, some pretending to be far more than they were, some on the brink of disaster but hiding it as best they can, and others just lost in false hope, I came back with the question on my mind 'What is winning and what am I trying to win anyhow?'. I have been to Vegas many many times and always see this (as I am sure most do) but for some reason it affected me much more this time.

So where am I now? Everywhere and nowhere it seems. There does not really seem to be a clear answer to what this winning thing is, only that I really do not want to do it anymore at least in the way I see it considered in the world outside little ole' me. I consider myself quite successful in most respects so winning is not the issue anymore. For the longest time I have been talking myself in and out of a nice convertible toy sports car that I have a hard time admitting would only be for appearance anyhow. I have been up for promotion for years only to have a company buyout, company reorganization, or basic corporate politics delay it. In the mean time, I have enjoyed nice vacations, wonderful wines, good friends to share it with and moments like this to reflect on life, the universe and everything. I still do not know what winning is, but I think I have gotten more than just a cupie doll out of life anyhow.

I saw "The Island" last night and though it was typical Hollywood in its limited creativity and overzealous product placement, I did find the correlations to my current state of thoughts. Winning the lottery, as evident by the trailers, is something that you do NOT want to do, even though it is seen by the participants as paradise. Questioning this allowed for a sense of escape for those trapped by this illusion. Though just general Hollywood mumbo jumbo, I wonder how much of this mirrors reality. I have gotten myself lost in questions and philosophy, not necessarily to find any particular answers, but to discover what really are the goals, desires, wants and needs of my spirit and very soul, rather than what it is in myself that may make the world happy. This is seemingly nearly impossible for me but needs to be done from my view is required for sanity and a life that truly has a sense of meaning.

The jury is still out on my fortitude regarding this but perhaps I will at least post more now that my thoughts are flowing in some direction again. At the very least, it will give you something to read so you can stop pestering me as far as how quiet I have been. Thanks for the pestering, BTW, as it is nice to know I am loved!

So now step right up and try your luck..... A winner every time, folks!