Easily Amused Wineaux - Achoo!

I was in an organic foods type grocery store when I picked up a bottle of natural remedy allergy medicine. On the back it had this warning:

In rare cases, nettle may cause allergic reaction to those individuals who may have allergies.

Ummmm…. Now that is some good medicine! An allergy medicine that promotes or enhances allergic reactions has got to be good! Granted the reaction rate is about 0.2% but it still amused me anyhow.

In other news, I am way behind on my blogging with updates on Scuba and my dating misadventures. I will do my best to blog that so my adoring fans can live vicariously through me as requested.

Lions and Tigers and Wine, Oh My! Huh?

In the latest attempt to try and bring tourists to Misery, I mean Missouri, you can now feed tigers as part of a wine tasting tour. I am not clear on whether you feed the tigers first and then taste wine or the other way around, but given the choice I am guessing it wiser to feed the tigers first lest they might end up with an extra “feeding”. Of course my personal choice would be to just double up the wine tasting and skip the tigers all together, but this is just me and my silly desire to avoid being eaten.

I wonder what wine goes best with “hands and arms stuck in tiger cage”?

Cry me an Elmo!

I know I am hardly alone in the fact that I grew up on Sesame Street, but the latest incarnation of Sesame Street in Japan focuses on emotions and emotional conflict. I am wondering what memories will result from this change. While I will occasionally have “Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?” and “a loaf of bread, a stick of butter, a gallon of milk” pop into my head I can only speculate to what these memories might be. Maybe “Anger management, how do you permit contentment?” or “a bottle of antidepressants, a stick of chocolate, a gallon of coffee”

I also wonder what the other characters are going to be like? Are Bert and Ernie finally allowed to admit they’re gay? Does Cookie Monster become the Pokey Monster (or better yet, the Man Pokey Monster)? Does Oscar find his inner self and become Oscar the Gratified? Does Kermit the Frog focus only on news about the warmth a smile brings or commentary on the mind of a person who has just been betrayed?

It has begun…. Countdown to Swimming with the Fishies!

Last night was the inaugural Scuba class at Oasis. Recent news regarding a good friend and a Scuba accident concerned me initially about my choice to jump into this but mostly because the timing, combined with a few other bad things happening to others around me led me to believe someone was trying to tell me something. It is not like I am superstitious or anything! J Nevertheless, seeing pictures of the little fishies got me excited again about putting a positive spin on the concept of “swimming with the fishes” although I am not up for swimming with the sharks just yet and besides I see enough of those around at the local bars anyhow. So what did Norm the Wineaux think of the first Scuba class?

Well, I got to sign my name on a lot of little pieces of paper to start so it did not initially hold too much excitement, but the videos were entertaining and the individuals (seven of us total) taking the class with me seemed to be a generally normal lot. Other than the videos and being shown the equipment it was somewhat dull but pool instruction is on Thursdays so I am looking forward to this Thursday. Oh, there was a quiz that I aced! I am so proud of myself! heh heh Nothing like a multiple choice answer quiz where the answers are already there anyhow.

Multiple choice tests seem to amuse me anymore. When I lived in Georgia I had to take the driver’s test to switch my AZ to a GA one. At the time, and I am sure they still do, they had these fancy-dandy computers that tested you. Evidently they unceremoniously shut off if you miss more than the allowed five questions. The lady next to me went up to the counter to complain that her computer was broken when they informed her of her test failure. However, she was convinced the computer was broken as she was only on question seven if memory serves me correctly. She was told she would have to wait a week to take the test, at which time she stormed out and drove away. I was done with the test during her argumentative state and had to wait for her to get done so I could finish the process. Needless to say, I was in no hurry to get on the road with her.

Norm, the wineaux goes for a swim!

I am steadily getting more and more active and generally do not break much of a sweat with cardio workouts lately. Yesterday was exactly one week before I start the Scuba training so I decided to jump into a pool at a local park and start swimming. I only lasted about 20 minutes or so in the water before getting very tired and hungry. I think I have a lot of work to do there, but plenty of time to work on it anyhow.

To console myself for my poor water performance, I stopped by one of the wine bars near work. I might as well be Norm here with the exception that I pay my bill. The bartender generally has my wine poured before I make it to the bar. Last night there were evidently cancellations to the wine dinner they were having and the owner invited me to jump into one of the open spaces as his guest. I suppose there are advantages to spending way too much money at wine bars…. Or maybe I am just such a great guy. :) I did enjoy it tremendously though I will admit it probably did not do my attempt at reducing caloric intake much good.

Bachelorette Number Two, What kitchen appliance would you be and why?

I have not put too much effort into the match.com thing as it really bored me very quick actually. Lots of pretty pics but empty people.
I do occasionally respond to one here and there, but given the multitude of emails that I am sure most women get, I am sure I get lost in the shuffle for most. I have never been much for ‘playing the numbers’ anyhow unless painting by the numbers is considered playing. Nevertheless, there have been two very lucky contestants that have moved to the next stage of the dating game, i.e. I am doing that phone talky thingy. Ladies and gentlemen meet Bachelorette Number One and Bachelorette Number Two.
Both are wise enough to have some value to wine and are fellow cat parents so several bonus points there.

Bachelorette Number One (B1) hails from/is originally from the Midwest and is an Accountant working on a graduate degree. She is an accomplished pianoist (shut up Beavis!) and appreciates good jazz, good wine, and the occasional ski weekend. She finds solitude in sitting under a willow tree while observing koi glide gracefully in the pond below. She would most describe herself as a bookshelf, an eclectic mix of books that fit the various facets of her personality and her adventures. Her most adventurous moment was jumping out of a perfectly good airplane for fun. She likes hanging out in jazz clubs with mysterious people.

Bachelorette Number Two(B2) hails from/is originally from Southern California and is an Environmental Engineer with one of those advanced degree things. She is an accomplished violinist and plays in a local symphony in her spare time. A balanced individual with very artistic and analytical interests, her creative spirit comes from looking at the world through many lenses. She most describes herself like a dinner table. Strong and sturdy in personality, she has various moods that change as appropriate to match the company as a tablecloth would match the occasion. Growing up with one parent who spoke Mandarin and one who spoke Cantonese, she is fluent in both Chinese dialects. Add Spanish, and of course English to the mix, and she can speak to a significant majority of the world surrounding her.

I will admit that B2 intrigues me more but B1 seems easier to chat with so who knows. I will probably try and see if I can grab a cup of coffee or wine with each next week, but for now I am just happy to chat with them on the phone at this point. Both are in the upper part of mid-twenties so they are younger than I would prefer and that may or may not show sometime, but for whatever reason they seem to fit those that I have ended up dating the last few years: Generally very edumacated with strong views on the world in front of them, some significant portion of them is very artistic (musically or literary), and they seem to be several years younger than I (though I would actually prefer older than myself).

Any questions from the audience for B1 or B2? :)